Read time: 6min
A founder poked me about a fundamental topic this week.
Finding the right co-founders.
What a universal topic.
As old as time.
He’s basically asking:
Who should you marry and spend the next 10 years of your life sitting next to in an office...
...and ringing in emergency whenever you hit a wall?
Light topic, right?
Let me try to unbox a few learnings.
From reading TONS of books.
Listening to TOP operators.
And starting 4 companies, 1 fund, and an investor community.
Quick note:
I’m zeroing in on venture-backed founder relationships here.
Not family businesses.
Not lifestyle side-hustles.
VC-backed startups get it extra, extra hard.
Because they need to find that tiny little mouse hole that almost doesn’t exist...
Just to survive.
Let alone thrive.
And most relationships don’t survive that overload of stress, tears, going broke, losing projects, staff, and… relationships.
So now that we’ve planted the scene (quite dramatically…), here’s what I’d never do again:
- Hiring your best friend
Or any close friend, really.
You’re guaranteed to face storms.
And the friendship, built on fun, love, and late-night hangouts, rarely survives those business storms.
- Working with family
Risks are too big.
I get it.
You’re ahead of the game, building something amazing, and want to help a relative get a big push in their career.
Or you just know them so well that it feels like a no-brainer.
You’re like, “This will flow so easily.”
It won’t.
You’ll hold back on hard conversations.
You won’t treat them like everyone else.
And others in the team will notice.
They’ll know.
Now, sure, there are exceptions.
The founders of Canva? Married.
The Collison brothers at Stripe? Rocket ships.
But the odds?
Nastily stacked against you.
You’re almost guaranteed to get burned, kill the relationship, and carry some trauma long after you part ways.
Not worth it.
There are so many talented people out there who fit the bill and are dying to join the right bold, juicy opportunity.
The hard part?
Finding them.
Or more accurately —
Eliminating until they emerge.
So, what would I do if I were in your shoes, hunting for that magic co-founder?
Not reinventing the wheel here.
Just building on the shoulders of giants: Paul Graham, Naval Ravikant, Reid Hoffman...
Let’s go.
Skill & Intelligence
Do you respect that person?
Like. deeply?
Would you feel proud introducing them to investors?
Like:
“This is my absolute badass co-founder. World-class at X. Has launched Y. Accomplished Z. And is perfectly positioned to solve this problem.”
Can they challenge your thinking?
Complement your strengths?
Bring new mental models to the table?
Can you spend hours nerding out about your problem set...
And leave the room buzzing?
That energy matters.
Vision
Do you both agree on a crazy-enough future that turns investors on?
Can you stand tall, sleep at night, telling a web of lies...
That might turn out true if all the stars align.
Do you both share the obsession to make it real?
At almost any cost?
And without getting too distracted by other shiny objects?
Visions will evolve.
You need a sparring partner who evolves with it.
Timing
They’re mentally and emotionally available.
Now.
Not in 6–12 months.
Integrity
This one’s the trump card.
The kill switch.
You need to be made of the same metal.
The kind of person who hears your idea and says:
“Holy shit. I’ve been thinking about the same thing. We have to solve this. Let’s go.”
Once that initial value alignment is there, stress test it.
Spend time together.
Brainstorm.
Go on weekend trips.
Throw philosophical dilemmas on the table.
Poke. Observe.
See how deep the values really go.
If it feels off?
If your gut’s vibrating “no”?
Run.
Or keep the thread open and explore others.
Like dating.
Takes a few dates to know if there’s long-haul energy there.
Now the next obvious question:
Where the hell do you find them?
You’re gonna laugh.
Serendipity.
Pure.
Fucking.
Luck.
I’ve almost always met co-founders through luck and timing.
We don’t control that much in our lives.
It’s an illusion to think you’ll find your dream co-founder through a 20-tab Notion tracker or a ChatGPT matchmaking workflow.
What you can control?
Surface area.
Maximize your odds.
Then let the universe do its thing.
Attend industry events.
Tell your friends.
Ping your ex-coworkers.
Harass the smartest people you know.
Take coffee meetings.
Book 30min Zooms.
Inform your investors.
Send bottles to the sea.
Some will come back.
Most won’t.
Make the game winnable.
Tell a compelling vision.
Make it emotionally contagious.
That means:
Have your homework done.
Build the pitch.
Make it feel real.
Yes, it can sound bigger than it is.
Yes, it can feel wildly unattainable.
That’s the naivety of the start.
And all you need… is one AH-HA moment with the right person.
The path will reveal itself after that.
Check out all my PRO resources for Founders. Everything you need to turn your vision into a funded reality:
📌 The Ultimate Investors List of Lists (12,000 VCs, family offices, accelerators, CVCs, and angels)
⚡️ The Ultimate Notion Data Room Template
🥇 The Most Successful Investor Update Template
📊 The Only Finance Tracker Your Startup Needs
Final thought:
What kind of founders’ agreement should you put in place?
How do you split equity?
What clauses should you never forget?
Stay tuned — I’ll cover all that next Saturday.
Take care.
And share this with someone who might need to hear it.
Maybe it sparks the inner convo they’ve been avoiding.
See you next week,
Yoann
Super timely for me. Thanls for the open and honest thoughts. Very practical